I Can't Even Make Up My Mind About Not Making Up My Mind

Sorry I didn't respond to the other comments, I suck, I know. Yes, yes I could do it now, but it just feels so late. Anyway, . . . I decided on a flight to Seattle, an overnight there, then a train to Portland where we'd grab a rental car and head to the Pacific. Sounds cool, right? Except I don't really know where to stay in Seattle and the train ride to Portland is like 3 hours long and the highly recommended beach is three hours from there and and and. I couldn't decide on a hotel in any location, let alone how far up the coast to start our journey and on and on and on. Planning the trip suddenly became very UN-fun. I mean, I used all my decision making skills choosing flights (and Ian's school curriculum for the year). When I booked the flights, only a few scattered center of the row seats and the $50 upgrade seats were available. JetBlue doesn't overbook, so I decided to rely upon the kindness of an airline worker to give us free upgrades so at least one of us could sit next to Ian. Then the planning died a sudden, unnoticed death.

I had been hoping to visit a friend who is currently living in or within walking distance to Grand Teton National Park in WY, but the airline tickets to the small airport cost as much as or more than the All You Can Jet passes and the closest airport I can fly into with the pass is Salt Lake City, Utah --320 miles away. *sigh*

But then I started thinking about the amount of ground travel time we were planning in the Pacific NorthWest and tried to do a little math, calculating total estimated time, blah, blah, blah. While I was taking a shit, I decided to just say fuck it to Seattle and go for the WY trip. I'd much rather see a friend than wander aimlessly. I found seats together on both flights. Then I realized that horseback rides through the trails are fairly common. Perfect! Ian has been dying to go horseback riding for about two years now. Suddenly, the trip sounds fun again! Yay!! Now if I can find a place to stay for less than $800 a night, all will be good again.

Never heard of the Grand Tetons?  Yeah, I hadn't before she moved there either, but the name has something to do with the mountains looking like boobs.  They are very close to (maybe touching?) the southwest border of Yellowstone National Park, and every picture I've seen is absolutely gorgeous.  I'm excited again!!!!  Yay!!!  That's what travel should really be about anyway, right?

Now I need someone to accompany Ian and me from Las Vegas to the Grand Canyon . . .

I Gots Skillz Yo

Or not. Most probably not. Why in the world did I think that buying something that gives me fairly free reign over a huge area would be a good idea? I can't decide what I want for freaking breakfast or whether to take a shit or blow my nose first. Now I have 60 cities and god knows how many freaking flights to choose from?!?! I thought picking a car to buy was bad. At least then I had a few picky constraints that made for some available parameters. (stick, no white or silver) Now, geez, I won't be able to fly home to use the bathroom no matter what and the country is full of garlic, so everything else is pretty wide open. Even if I could decide upon a geographical feature, the options are still numerous. Beach? Sure, yes, I want the beach. International or national? East Coast or West Coast? Northern or Southern? Ocean, bay, inlet, river or lake? OK, OK, forget the beach. I want desert instead. Phoenix, Vegas, or Southern CA? Canyons or no canyons? Fine, forget it, I'll just go to the stupid Winchester Mystery House like Ian wants. San Jose airport or San Francisco? There's nothing else to do in San Jose but it's an hour closer than San Francisco and all the cool stuff in SF is an hour in the opposite direction of the airport and the house. Oh wait, flights into San Jose are very limited, uh, one 9:45 PM arrival and 10:25PM departure daily. Fffuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccckkkkkkkkkk!!!

Then there's the whole how well will Ian cope thing to consider. While I may find a several hour drive after a cross country flight to view National Parks like Zion, Yosemite, Yellowstone, etc. to be well worth the trip, will he? Vegas is awesome, but will it be too much for a hyper little kid? And if we do Vegas, we have to do the Grand Canyon, but Vegas is so overblown and the Grand Canyon is so freaking huge and the trip in between is most likely nothing, will the contrast be too much? Will his head explode? Will my head explode? I think mine may before I even book another flight.

Finally

Whew! I have finally decided upon our first trip out of JFK. I know you're all waiting, holding your breath, wondering which hour-long flight I will take after driving two hours to the airport and checking in at least an hour early. Don't do the driving math, please. It may make me cry. Fuck, I just did enough of it in my head to be bothered. Anyway, we're going to Boston!! I've only been there once and I absolutely hated it, but, eh, it'll be better this time. I picked Boston because it has the most public transportation options available. After booking the flight, I decided to check the taxi rates in Boston. Unfortunately it also includes a time estimate. The 45 minute public transportation route that seemed pretty good gets clocked in as a 14 minute taxi ride at around the same price as bus and whatever other fare for 3 people. So, basically, I could've gone wherever the hell I wanted. *sigh*

(On a completely unrelated side note, our dog will only come onto the sofa after being invited-- while we're home, anyway-- which is good. Except now for some strange reason you have to pat the sofa with your left hand, patting it with the right one will produce only stares and cocked ears.)

Uh, where was I? Oh yeah, Boston. Duck tours were recommended by several different people in several different places, and they start at a science museum, so that's the plan. Tourist ride in an on-road, bright fucking yellow boat. But Ian will have fun. I hope. Let's just hope he doesn't have to take a shit that day. Anyone have any suggestions about how to get him to stop describing his bowel movements in vivid detail?

I Must Be Insane

This week I bought Jetblue All You Can Jet passes for myself, my eight year old son Ian and his father Pete. With these passes we can fly anywhere on Jetblue's route an unlimited number of times between September 7th and October 6th, with only a three day advanced booking! How freaking cool is that? I have always wanted to travel and have rarely had the means. This time, means and opportunity converged and I jumped on the shit with absolutely no clue how I am going to actually accomplish this. Whatever, I'll figure it out as I go along.


Ian will most definitely make it interesting. I'm cringing as I consider the possible things this child could say and do in a month of heavy travel. Oh God, I hadn't even considered the bathroom aspect until this very second. Ian is a very, uh, vocal child. Not necessarily loud vocal, maybe loquacious is a better word. I have been described as a person who will "tell you where a bear shit in the woods". Ian will tell you not only where the bear shit,but how it looked while doing so, the color, texture and smell of the product left behind, what the bear did after taking a shit, and how the bear's shit differs from his own. Good Lord, it should be an interesting month.